Discipling Your Children

In order to disciple our child, we must truly understand their purpose. For instance, I had always wanted to have a baby. My husband wasn’t ready. In 2001 the Lord had given me a vision of a little boy praising the Lord. I went home to my husband all excited that we were going to have a little boy praising the Lord. He didn’t quite think so.

So in 2003, I was still wanting a baby. I was hurting so bad and crying to the Lord for a child. He took me to Hannah in Samuel 1:10-1 and a light bulb went off -- the purpose of the child isn’t all about me, but to serve the Lord.

Two weeks later I got Jack. He was 7 months old. I took him to church and he was raising his hand and just singing at the top of his lungs. Adults all around were crying, seeing him worship the Lord like that.

However, we must also understand our purpose as a mother. In Matthew 12:47-50 it says what Jesus says a mother is. She is someone who does the will of the Father. Funny how our purposes are the same.

The scripture says “Train up a child in the way that he should go and he will not depart from it.” Prov 22:6 The question is “What does that mean?”

It means to love and love consists of several parts:

1. Honesty: Jesus didn’t sugar coat things. He walked the walk; not just talked the talk. Life’s hard; things happen but God’s good. Be honest about your situations – it’s not about dumping a bunch of burdens on your kids but about sharing some truth and how the Lord will “get us through it”. Honesty sometimes hurts. I always tell my niece that “I love you and love doesn’t let you live in lala land. Love speaks truth into your life.”

2. Instruction: He told them what to do; how to do it; He led by example – washing the feet; feeding the multitudes; befriended the friendless and the rejected; was obedient to God; Was intimate with God -- We have to be doers and not just hearers of the word. We have to walk the walk; not just talk the talk – kids are smart and they don’t respect hollow words or instruction.

3. Praise: In Matthew 16:17-19, the Lord praises Peter. It is very important to praise them. Encourage them in their gifts and their walk. From praise comes self esteem – which is very important in them fulfilling their purpose.

4. Correction: required to fulfill the purpose – required to bring the person to the level /place the Lord is taking them too. Matthew 16:21-23 -- if the Lord allowed Peter to walk in his own thinking; the Lord’s purpose would not be fulfilled and Peter would not have not risen to the level of obedience he did. Part of correction is not enabling your child – do not allow them to do what God doesn’t want them to do. And in circumstances where they’re just going through hard times – because of no obvious fault of their own – we still must be careful that we are not interrupting what the Lord is trying to teach them. Remember, faith triumphs in trouble Romans 5:1-5. Remember that victory wasn’t evidenced on the cross; but in the tomb – it had to be at the point of death before we saw the true victory. A key point, “there’s one Savior and you’re not it!”

5. Fellowship: Jesus spent time praying, talking, teaching, eating with the disciples; washing their feet. We have to be willing to spend intimate time with our kids. We have to be willing to put in the work – and trust me, it is work! To correct, every time something needs corrected; to be aware and praise every time and encourage; to take time to instruct and show them how and tell them why.

Foundational Truths: This is what the Lord has shown me about what my child needs to know in order to be trained up.

1. The Lord’s first: Care what He wants! Fear of God Matthew 10:27-31 Spend time loving on him; giving him honor -- If the child can play a video game or watch a show for an hour; they can worship for an hour or go to church.

2. Follow through: Honor your commitments – Imagine if Jesus didn’t honor his

3. Be a blessing to others: a. Care about others – Jesus had compassion for the multitude – gave all he had b. Be a giver; be a cheerful giver 2 Cor 9:6-7 Be a quiet giver Matthew 6:1-4 c. Teach them that “It’s not all about you”. Relationships take two. Even the parent-child relationship should not be one-sided. I know that as humans we’re conditioned from birth for our mother to meet all of our needs and when she doesn’t we have an excuse to be dysfunctional. This needs to be corrected. We need to show them that they have to do their part. I see so many adults walking around with a sense of entitlement. This initial conditioning has never been nurtured into a mutually responsible relationship. This is important to get them past the “me” stage into the “we” stage. d. Teach them that their words can tear down or build up – that’s it’s not okay to say whatever you want in any way you want. It’s important for them to express themselves, but we need to teach them how to speak in love. I know people who have an accomplished daughter but she’s a jerk to people. I want my child to be a success in whatever path he chooses but, I also want him to be a Godly man. So it’s not all about academics and competition. It’s about heart!

4. From Responsibility/Work comes prosperity – Matthew 10:9-10 – You don’t get everything you want. Many times parents want to give their kids what they didn’t have or make up for some guilt they have about something the child had to go through. We must teach our kids the value of work and responsibility. Only through obedience and responsibility, can they get the true appreciation for their blessings. They can see a pattern of truth – from obedience comes reward.

5. Recognize those lacking Jesus and be moved to pray and minister to them (they’re not bad; they just don’t know Jesus) a. Salvation only comes from the Lord – only achieved by him; not man. Matthew 19:23-26 b. He came for all Luke 15:1-7 – All need Jesus – Teach your child that we don’t get to pick who deserves salvation; who’s worthy of our prayers; who’s worthy of our love. c. Love your enemies Matthew 5:43-45 – let’s face it; the sooner they know Jesus the better it is going to be for everyone. d. Surround yourself with like-minded – Matthew 10:11-14– don’t give up your peace; separate yourself in order to be an encouragement to others. – Jack goes off by himself when it gets to be too much and talks to the Lord. Just as adults, we need to surround ourselves with Christians to be filled up and spend time with the Lord. Your child must be taught to do the same.

6. You can’t make all the people happy and that people are going to talk about you and persecute you. Matthew 11:18-19; Matthew 5:11-12 – Teach your child; if they’re okay with the Lord, they’re okay – regardless of what anyone else says. Also remind them that Jesus didn’t defend himself.

7. Bad things happen to Christians too. Matthew 7:25 but the Lord is has it. Matthew 10:16-26 So many times Christians; new Christians especially, think that because they’re Christians that nothing bad will happen. We need to teach our children the truth. We lose people; we suffer loss; but we can never lose the most important thing and that’s our relationship with the Lord. He will get us through the tough times and make us overcomers.

8. The Lord hears our cries and he listens: Ask according to his word – in agreement -- the Lord is ever present and all knowing. Trust him! He is a God of His Word!—Share your testimony with them. Jack says “Mom, you want to talk about Jesus?” My testimony makes it real to him. It’s like those personalized story books you buy –they hear their name or the names of people they know and it becomes a part of their reality.

Discipling your child is work, but it is the most rewarding job you’ll ever have The most important factor is your teaching by example – being a walker and not just a talker. I believe if we can establish this truths in our child it will help with all their relationships. I want my child to marry one time and not have to go through a divorce. I want my child to be successful in his life both in career; his walk and in his character.


CORRESPONDING SCRIPTURES 1 Samuel 1:10-11 (New King James Version)10 And she was in bitterness of soul, and prayed to the LORD and wept in anguish. 11 Then she made a vow and said, “O LORD of hosts, if You will indeed look on the affliction of Your maidservant and remember me, and not forget Your maidservant, but will give Your maidservant a male child, then I will give him to the LORD all the days of his life, … Matthew 12:47-50 (New King James Version)47 Then one said to Him, “Look, Your mother and Your brothers are standing outside, seeking to speak with You.” 48 But He answered and said to the one who told Him, “Who is My mother and who are My brothers?” 49 And He stretched out His hand toward His disciples and said, “Here are My mother and My brothers! 50 For whoever does the will of My Father in heaven is My brother and sister and mother.” Matthew 16:17-19 (New King James Version) 17 Jesus answered and said to him, “Blessed are you, Simon Bar-Jonah, for flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but My Father who is in heaven. 18 And I also say to you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build My church, and the gates of Hades shall not prevail against it. 19 And I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed[a] in heaven.” Matthew 16:21-23 (New King James Version) 21 From that time Jesus began to show to His disciples that He must go to Jerusalem, and suffer many things from the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and be raised the third day. 22 Then Peter took Him aside and began to rebuke Him, saying, “Far be it from You, Lord; this shall not happen to You!” 23 But He turned and said to Peter, “Get behind Me, Satan! You are an offense to Me, for you are not mindful of the things of God, but the things of men.” Romans 5:1-5 1 Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have[a] peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3 And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; 4 and perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. Matthew 10:27-31 (New King James Version) 27 “Whatever I tell you in the dark, speak in the light; and what you hear in the ear, preach on the housetops. 28 And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. But rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell. 29 Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin? And not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father’s will. 30 But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31 Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows. 2 Corinthians 9:6-7 (New King James Version) The Cheerful Giver -6 But this I say: He who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and he who sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. 7 So let each one give as he purposes in his heart, not grudgingly or of necessity; for God loves a cheerful giver. Matthew 6:1-4 Do Good to Please God -- 1 “Take heed that you do not do your charitable deeds before men, to be seen by them. Otherwise you have no reward from your Father in heaven. 2 Therefore, when you do a charitable deed, do not sound a trumpet before you as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory from men. Assuredly, I say to you, they have their reward. 3 But when you do a charitable deed, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4 that your charitable deed may be in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will Himself reward you openly.[a] Matthew 10:9-10 (New King James Version) 9 Provide neither gold nor silver nor copper in your money belts, 10 nor bag for your journey, nor two tunics, nor sandals, nor staffs; for a worker is worthy of his food. Matthew 19:23-26 (New King James Version) With God All Things Are Possible -- 23 Then Jesus said to His disciples, “Assuredly, I say to you that it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. 24 And again I say to you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.” 25 When His disciples heard it, they were greatly astonished, saying, “Who then can be saved?” 26 But Jesus looked at them and said to them, “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Luke 15:1-7 (New King James Version) The Parable of the Lost Sheep -- 1 Then all the tax collectors and the sinners drew near to Him to hear Him. 2 And the Pharisees and scribes complained, saying, “This Man receives sinners and eats with them.” 3 So He spoke this parable to them, saying: 4 “What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he loses one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness, and go after the one which is lost until he finds it? 5 And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. 6 And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and neighbors, saying to them, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep which was lost!’ 7 I say to you that likewise there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine just persons who need no repentance. Matthew 5:43-45 (New King James Version) Love Your Enemies -- 43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor[a] and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you,[b] 45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. Matthew 10:11-14 (New King James Version) 11 “Now whatever city or town you enter, inquire who in it is worthy, and stay there till you go out. 12 And when you go into a household, greet it. 13 If the household is worthy, let your peace come upon it. But if it is not worthy, let your peace return to you. 14 And whoever will not receive you nor hear your words, when you depart from that house or city, shake off the dust from your feet. Matthew 11:18-19 (New King James Version) 18 For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, ‘He has a demon.’ 19 The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, ‘Look, a glutton and a winebibber, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!’ But wisdom is justified by her children.”[a] Matthew 5:11-12 (New King James Version) 11 “Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. 12 Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you. Matthew 7:25 (New King James Version)25 and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock. Matthew 10:16-26 (New King James Version) Persecutions Are Coming --16 “Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore be wise as serpents and harmless as doves. 17 But beware of men, for they will deliver you up to councils and scourge you in their synagogues. 18 You will be brought before governors and kings for My sake, as a testimony to them and to the Gentiles. 19 But when they deliver you up, do not worry about how or what you should speak. For it will be given to you in that hour what you should speak; 20 for it is not you who speak, but the Spirit of your Father who speaks in you. 21 “Now brother will deliver up brother to death, and a father his child; and children will rise up against parents and cause them to be put to death. 22 And you will be hated by all for My name’s sake. But he who endures to the end will be saved. 23 When they persecute you in this city, flee to another. For assuredly, I say to you, you will not have gone through the cities of Israel before the Son of Man comes. 24 “A disciple is not above his teacher, nor a servant above his master. 25 It is enough for a disciple that he be like his teacher, and a servant like his master. If they have called the master of the house Beelzebub,[a] how much more will they call those of his household! 26 Therefore do not fear them. For there is nothing covered that will not be revealed, and hidden that will not be known. s easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.” 25 When His disciples heard it, they were greatly astonished, saying, “Who then can be saved?” 26 But Jesus looked at them and said to them, “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Luke 15:1-7 (New King James Version) The Parable of the Lost Sheep -- 1 Then all the tax collectors and the sinners drew near to Him to hear Him. 2 And the Pharisees and scribes complained, saying, “This Man receives sinners and eats with them.” 3 So He spoke this parable to them, saying: 4 “What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he loses one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness, and go after the one which is lost until he finds it? 5 And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. 6 And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and neighbors, saying to them, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep which was lost!’ 7 I say to you that likewise there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine just persons who need no repentance. Matthew 5:43-45 (New King James Version) Love Your Enemies -- 43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor[a] and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you,[b] 45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. Matthew 11:18-19 (New King James Version) 18 For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, ‘He has a demon.’ 19 The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, ‘Look, a glutton and a winebibber, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!’ But wisdom is justified by her children.”[a] Matthew 5:11-12 (New King James Version) 11 “Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. 12 Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you. Matthew 7:25 (New King James Version)25 and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock. Matthew 10:16-26 (New King James Version) Persecutions Are Coming --16 “Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore be wise as serpents and harmless as doves. 17 But beware of men, for they will deliver you up to councils and scourge you in their synagogues. 18 You will be brought before governors and kings for My sake, as a testimony to them and to the Gentiles. 19 But when they deliver you up, do not worry about how or what you should speak. For it will be given to you in that hour what you should speak; 20 for it is not you who speak, but the Spirit of your Father who speaks in you. 21 “Now brother will deliver up brother to death, and a father his child; and children will rise up against parents and cause them to be put to death. 22 And you will be hated by all for My name’s sake. But he who endures to the end will be saved. 23 When they persecute you in this city, flee to another. For assuredly, I say to you, you will not have gone through the cities of Israel before the Son of Man comes. 24 “A disciple is not above his teacher, nor a servant above his master. 25 It is enough for a disciple that he be like his teacher, and a servant like his master. If they have called the master of the house Beelzebub,[a] how much more will they call those of his household! 26 Therefore do not fear them. For there is nothing covered that will not be revealed, and hidden that will not be known.